Vulkin High Administrator-In-Exile. His promising, centuries-long career in diplomacy and colonial administration was cut short by the crash of the Galactic Navigation Beacon, which happened on his watch. Smxyzptlk has since claimed that numerous parties or circumstances were directly or indirectly responsible for the event, including Klengon War-Doxies, the Children of the Iron Tesseract, the deterioration of the Vanthian public school system, failing to shun the Shunned Towns properly, an unholy alliance between Terrier Rats and Squirrel Nut Zappers, a bad headache he had the morning the Beacon went down, Astrowraiths, bad news from home, an elite squad of King Pinkbelly Wigglebottom's smurfoteurs, Jaquie Cuisinart, evil omens from the god Argon, political repercussions from the Wars of Fthagn, an unscheduled manifestation of Army-Era Elvis (of the Transcendental Elvis Trinity) in his plomeek broth, a mistaken calculation in his True Scientific Daily Horoscope, and many other reasons as well. The evidence for these claims, regrettably, was left back in his desk in the God City Administrative Complexatorium when he was forced to flee into exile, which is why he can't produce it right now. Though many have attempted to locate Smxyzptlk's desk back in God City, they have been unable to do so; apparently, the office was being redecorated at the time, and the High Administrator's desk was relocated to a temporary office during the renovation. Unfortunately, all records of the renovation were misfiled or destroyed when the Beacon went down, and the former High Administrator doesn't know where the temporary office was because he had not visited there yet. Despite the enormous quantity of interviews, sound-bites, press releases, retractions, corrections, and denials issued by Smxyzptlk's tireless public relations office, the High Administrator-In-Exile is extremely reclusive, and his whereabouts are both conjectural and contradictory.
Effluvius Vox,
Third Assistant Librarian,
Vanthropology Dept.,
Grand Library of Morgandorgan