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Buttocks of Vekna'a

Page history last edited by Chris Creel 12 years, 3 months ago

The culmination of a stupid joke played on dungeon delvers by less-than-reputible sages of Blackhawk City. The supposed legend details how Vekana'a, the Mutant Vulkin Vampire cyaborg lich, managed to preserve certain still-organic parts of his body even unto death-after-undeath, laying great powers (and, some whispered, vile curses) on those who would utilize them. The body parts he preserved were his left hand, his left pinky toe, his right scapula, his - *ahem* - male gonads, and his gluteus maximus muscles. All that was necessary to gain the dark occult powers of Vekna'a would be to place the leathery shrunken part in question to the equivalent area of a living being that had been amputated or destroyed, upon which the dessicated lump would come alive and graft itself irrevocably, unleashing the necromantic puissance of Vekna'a.


Sadly, the most thorough perusals of the records of the Grand Library of Morgandorgan mentioned no Vekna'a anywhere in the archives, the closest equivalent being "Veccnia", a popular fruit pastry among the Funfair Nomads; and while the various Vanthwide medical professionals highly appreciated the business that this notable falsity directed their way, as did the Guild Of Morticians in the more unfortunate cases, the more staid of the wise men of Blackhawk looked on the snickering of their shady peers and shook their heads sadly, predicting an unfortunate end to the situation. Which unfortunate end consisted of "Rowdy Rodney" Sienkiewicz, rooming at the time at Blackhawk's exclusive Hotel Palme Excelsior, slicing off his own rear end with a lesser blutarch in hopes of replacing it with what he believed were the preserved Buttocks - only to discover that it was, in fact, a dried-out cave ooze, which proceeded to devour not only Rowdy Rodney and his associates, but the noted and upcoming luchadore El Hombre D'Violencia, the three Frankenstein Doxies he was entertaining at the time, and several dozen housekeeping personnell, before it was dispatched by the Blackhawk Attendants of Safety and Security Squad. Inquiries as to the subject among the former exponents of the story now produce only shameful expressions, protestations of last-minute essays and theses which need immediate writing, and hiding under desks.

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