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1001 Reasons to Shun the Shunned Towns

This version was saved 12 years, 11 months ago View current version     Page history
Saved by Guy Hoyle
on December 25, 2011 at 10:32:21 am
 

1. Inhabitants of the Shunned Towns are known breeders of Terrier Rats. -- Prof. S.K.

 

2. The smell. By all the gods of Vanth, the smell. -- Effluvius Vox 

 

3. You can catch mutations there. (Anonymous)

 

4. Radios only pick up WZMB, the All Zombie Groaning All The Time station. -- Jenrad the Least

 

5. Their folk music consists of fingernails scratching on a blackboard. -- Effluvius Vox

 

6. National Dish - Stinky Tofu. 

 

7. Bettina Dentata's Brothel and Casino, where "Every Gal's a Gamble." -- Shakey Jake Slocum

 

8. Free Curse with Every Purchase!

 

9. Any and all ale brewed in or imported to the Towns suffers dimensional malfermentation and becomes lukewarm Milwaukee's Best. -- Shakey Jake Slocum

 

10.  Droid toilets. NOT toilets for droids; the toilets ARE droids.

 

11.  Arrays of leeches used by some locals in lieu of clothes. -- Jenrad the Least

 

12. Two Words: Sewer Geysers. -- Her Royal Highness Smelda  Poope

 

13. I Can't Believe It's Not Infectious. -- Dr. Waghaffle Spleenvendor

 

14. The daily Dance of the Lepers. --  Crymantheus Infundibulum, Master of Necrobotics

 

15. The King of Fools and his Kingdom, just north-east of the Shunned Towns.

 

16. The Viraxian Marines; the cruder but thorough (more deadly) older brothers of the Viraxian Guard.

 

17. Eagerly welcome newcomers with a splendid feast, baskets full of treasure, and a shotgun wedding to Her Leprous Majesty, Queen Festrix Traumata -- Lorem Ipsum (Have Pen, Will Travel)

 

18. Banned Books: all books are banned except text on animal husbandry which have been approved by the Horse Traders.

 

19. Odysseus Links, a nine hole, members only golf course and only cyclopes are allowed to be members.

 

20. Javas: pint sized coffee-fueled robodriod rustlers, believed to be descendants of an ancient race of gnomes from before the Fall of the Sky Monsters.

 

21. The Limb Traders Factory Rejects Outlet Mall

 

22. No shirt, no shoes, no fingers, no nose, no problem!

 

23. Local Chuck E. Cheese's has a ballpit... an eyeball pit.

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