• If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!


1001 Reasons to Shun the Shunned Towns

Page history last edited by Chris Creel 9 years, 5 months ago

1. Inhabitants of the Shunned Towns are known breeders of Terrier Rats. -- Prof. S.K.


2. The smell. By all the gods of Vanth, the smell. -- Effluvius Vox 


3. You can catch mutations there. (Anonymous)


4. Radios only pick up WZMB, the All Zombie Groaning All The Time station. -- Jenrad the Least


5. Their folk music consists of fingernails scratching on a blackboard. -- Effluvius Vox


6. National Dish - Stinky Tofu. 


7. Bettina Dentata's Brothel and Casino, where "Every Gal's a Gamble." -- Shakey Jake Slocum


8. Free Curse with Every Purchase!


9. Any and all ale brewed in or imported to the Towns suffers dimensional malfermentation and becomes lukewarm Milwaukee's Best. -- Shakey Jake Slocum


10.  Droid toilets. NOT toilets for droids; the toilets ARE droids.


11.  Arrays of leeches used by some locals in lieu of clothes. -- Jenrad the Least


12. Two Words: Sewer Geysers. -- Her Royal Highness Smelda Poope


13. I Can't Believe It's Not Infectious. -- Dr. Waghaffle Spleenvendor


14. The daily Dance of the Lepers. --  Crymantheus Infundibulum, Master of Necrobotics


15. The King of Fools and his Kingdom, just north-east of the Shunned Towns.


16. Favorite shore leave spot for the Viraxian Marines; the cruder but more thorough (and more deadly) older brothers of the Viraxian Guard.


17. Eagerly welcome newcomers with a splendid feast, baskets full of treasure, and a shotgun wedding to Her Leprous Majesty, Queen Festrix Traumata -- Lorem Ipsum (Have Pen, Will Travel)


18. Banned Books: all books are banned except text on animal husbandry which have been approved by the Horse Traders.


19. Odysseus Links, a nine hole, members only golf course and only cyclopes are allowed to be members.


20. Javas: pint sized coffee-fueled robodriod rustlers, believed to be originally decanted by an ancient race of gnomes before the Fall of the Sky Monsters.


21. The Limb Traders Factory Rejects Outlet Mall.


22. No shirt, no shoes, no fingers, no nose, no problem!


23. Local Chuck E. Cheese's has a ballpit... an eyeball pit.


24. That thing that happened with the Hobling twins, the shaved monkey, the twenty gallons of pistachio ice cream and the severely out-of-date cough syrup, aka The Incident We All Swore Never To Mention Or Think About Again. -- Pavlar Remeron


25. Battling bandits of the Pirate Clown Sodality, among others. -- Prof. S. K.


26. Pit fighting terrier rats. (see Terrier Rat Infestation) -- Shakey Jake Slocum


27. The Shunned Towns are the rumored location of the Theskinomicon.  -- Prof. S. K.

Comments (3)

Guy Hoyle said

at 8:25 pm on Jan 27, 2011

Guy Hoyle said

at 4:20 pm on Feb 17, 2011

Pere Ubu said

at 9:25 am on Dec 25, 2011

"the toilets ARE droids"

These ARE the droids I'm looking for!


You don't have permission to comment on this page.